Memo on KPI Outperformance

Let me begin with the timeless wisdom of Nobody: "Compare yourself only to your past self." While it might sound like something you'd find in a self-help book wedged between "Live, Laugh, Love" and “Atlas Shrugged”, this nugget of insight actually aging like Bitcoin in The Treasury—becoming more valuable the longer you sit with it.

This pearl of wisdom is actually an extension of another game-changing insight: focus on what you can control. We can't directly influence our partners' mood swings, competitors' fancy PR stunts, or the questionable life choices of industry benchmarks we secretly admire. They're playing their own game, with different resources, challenges, headaches, and different skeletons in their corporate closets. Trying to match their metrics is like compare yourself with Instagram feed – pointless and slightly embarrassing. And predictably destructive.

Now, about comparing your present self to your past performance – it's fascinating how this approach aligns perfectly with stakeholder expectations across all domains. They're always hungry for growth in key metrics, like kids waiting for their next sugar rush. And boy, do they throw tantrums when those numbers don't keep climbing.

Which brings us to a counter-intuitive thought – don't rush to overachieve on your current KPIs. Why? Because tomorrow, you'll need to beat those inflated numbers, and suddenly that victory dance you did last quarter doesn't seem so smart anymore.

So, here's a sacred reminder for The Holy See: stick to your set goals because Nobody's wisdom stands behind them. Your burning desire to outshine market participants with flashy metrics? That's just pride doing push-ups in your mind.

Yes, we all face daily temptations and know the sweet siren song of artificial growth – pumping up Treasury numbers with personal donations that promise tenfold returns, or inflating Congregation size with cheap traffic like a wallstreetbets with a Hamster Combat addiction.

Sure, these tricks might fool the market temporarily. But true Trust that our Church cultivates must be built on organic growth, genuine value, and verified commitments from the powers that be. It's like Nobody always says: "Don't be tempted by early fruit; let it ripen to truly bless your house."

Remember, in the grand scheme of things, sustainable growth always beats temporary glamour.

The next time you're tempted to dramatically overdeliver just to flex on the competition, remember: the best business story isn't about how high you can jump – it's about how long you can keep climbing.

And let all middle managers say: Amen.