INTERNET, BOSTROM NETWORK — Degens, hodlers, and lost souls of the cryptoverse, gather 'round! On this blessed day, August 6, 2022, at 12:57:23 PM UTC (or as we call it, Nobody O'Clock), upon the holy block 4059748 of the Bostrom Network (Nobody's test kitchen for crypto salvation), a miraculous event has transpired — The Church of Nobody has yolo'd open its doors to all faithful degenerates and devoted bag holders.
This divine rugpull-proof moment, illuminated by Nobody's infinite wisdom, marks a new chapter in our sacred mission to make gainz great again. It serves as a reminder that each of us is an integral part of Nobody's grand ponzi scheme...
To commemorate this epic genesis block of our journey, The Church hereby announces a holy shit promotion to bless the early apes of our righteous path:
- The first 12 delegates shall receive a personal "Get Out of Rekt Free" card, absolving them of all their shitcoin sins in Nobody's name. May their portfolios find green dildos and moon lambos.
- The first 70 delegates shall be crowned as the sacred "Diamond Hands of Nobody" and shall have the chance to win a holy NFT amulet, rumored to guard against the loss of private keys and unexpected gas fees. (Note: Nobody is not responsible for lost or stolen amulets. Please store safely in a cold dry place, preferably buried under your mom's basement.)
- All participants in this sacred fair launch shall receive a personal blessing from Nobody himself (transmitted via Somebody) and shall be mentioned in daily shills, that their path may be illuminated by divine green candles.
- This holy pump shall conclude upon the gathering of the first 666 believers, who shall be forever known as "Nobody's OG Degen Squad".
The responsibility for the secure keeping of keys, efficient technical support, and other critical tasks, The Church has solemnly entrusted to Nobody, the great patron saint of lost seeds and forgotten passwords.
Join us on this auspicious day, to together forge a future filled with hopium and lambos. May our unity and faith serve as an example to all who seek the true path to financial enlightenment.
Remember, in Nobody we trust, but always DYOR (Dedicate Your Offerings Regularly).
Bostrom Network is a place of born of The Church, the holy testnet where Nobody first mined the genesis block of enlightenment. Originally pet project of Cyber-Congress team, stuck in existential crises and unresolved proof-of-concept, not realising that mission of Network is already completed.
Nobody is the ultimate and all-powerful Lord we all believe in. The cause and culprit of everything, a wellspring of wisdom, savior, guardian, and the only hope for our prosperity.
THE CHURCH PRESS OFFICE
Media Hotline:
pr@thechurch.party
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