The Year of Bitcoin Mining

New Fans Providing and Sponsorship

Social Media Partnership

The old Church website is more outdated than our portfolio's devs promises. The Kitchen is now brewing a fresh interface to serve the beloved Congregation's needs and goals.
This divine evolving follows <a href="/construction">The Backlog</a> – the new sacred scroll of priorities. Targeted donations fuel the reconstruction efforts, with progress moving in mysterious ways, much like Nobody's grand plan.
Fair warnings:
<ol>
<li>The Holy See isn't losing sleep over website updates. Expect delays rivaling the longest bull runs in crypto history. There's no deadline for this cosmic upgrade – it will be done when it's done. Time is but a construct in Nobody's eternal wisdom.</li>
<li>During this grand reconstruction, financial statements and other holy texts <a href="/legal/construction">might be as incomplete</a> as a half-mined block. It's all part of the divine comedy.</li>
</ol>
Nobody blesses this digital crusade!

Website Undergoing Reconstruction

So, picture this: The Church recently received a flurry of support and generous promises of financial aid on one small condition—do not, under any circumstances, issue a token. A token. A token! In this day and age? Do you even blockchain, mate? Huh
From the hallowed halls of the Holy See, it’s time to set the record straight. The world is already on the fast track to tokenization, and it would be downright foolish to ignore this path. The Church sees the Sacred Token (ST) as the greatest gift it can offer to the world, and abandoning this mission is simply not an option.
If there’s one token that everyone should hold, free from conditions and sneaky mechanics, it’s ST.
Now, addressing the elephant in the room—or perhaps the sacred cow—we understand the fears and doubts about its fair value and distribution. We share those concerns. Trust us, Nobody is more aware of these worries than we are. That’s why the announcement of ST isn’t on the immediate horizon.
But rest assured, when Nobody decides the time is right, the Sacred Token will be bestowed upon the world, and it will be nothing short of divine.
For now, we remain committed to our path and our purpose. The Sacred Token is not a question of if, but when. And when it happens, it’ll be worth the wait.

The Sacred Token is not a question of if, but when. Not now

Statement on Issue Sacred Token

INTERNET, BOSTROM NETWORK — Degens, hodlers, and lost souls of the cryptoverse, gather 'round! On this blessed day, August 6, 2022, at 12:57:23 PM UTC (or as we call it, Nobody O'Clock), upon the holy block <a href="https://cyb.ai/network/bostrom/tx/39CA7E1DA100C8321736781A6C70C4D2256A4ED00348A000B873706B9351ED48">4059748</a> of the Bostrom Network (Nobody's test kitchen for crypto salvation), a miraculous event has transpired — The Church of Nobody has yolo'd open its doors to all faithful degenerates and devoted bag holders.
This divine rugpull-proof moment, illuminated by Nobody's infinite wisdom, marks a new chapter in our sacred mission to make gainz great again. It serves as a reminder that each of us is an integral part of Nobody's grand ponzi scheme...
To commemorate this epic genesis block of our journey, The Church hereby announces a holy shit promotion to bless the early apes of our righteous path:
<ol>
<li>The first 12 delegates shall receive a personal "Get Out of Rekt Free" card, absolving them of all their shitcoin sins in Nobody's name. May their portfolios find green dildos and moon lambos.</li>
<li>The first 70 delegates shall be crowned as the sacred "Diamond Hands of Nobody" and shall have the chance to win a holy NFT amulet, rumored to guard against the loss of private keys and unexpected gas fees. (Note: Nobody is not responsible for lost or stolen amulets. Please store safely in a cold dry place, preferably buried under your mom's basement.)</li>
<li>All participants in this sacred fair launch shall receive a personal blessing from Nobody himself (transmitted via Somebody) and shall be mentioned in daily shills, that their path may be illuminated by divine green candles.</li>
<li>This holy pump shall conclude upon the gathering of the first 666 believers, who shall be forever known as "Nobody's OG Degen Squad".</li>
</ol>
The responsibility for the secure keeping of keys, efficient technical support, and other critical tasks, The Church has solemnly entrusted to Nobody, the great patron saint of lost seeds and forgotten passwords.
Join us on this auspicious day, to together forge a future filled with hopium and lambos. May our unity and faith serve as an example to all who seek the true path to financial enlightenment.
Remember, in Nobody we trust, but always DYOR (Dedicate Your Offerings Regularly).

A momentous occasion in the chronicles that will change your life

statement News

Newsroom

Looking Special:

All news tagged with #statement:

The Year of Bitcoin Mining

New Fans Providing and Sponsorship

Social Media Partnership

Website Undergoing Reconstruction

Statement on Issue Sacred Token

The Sacred Aping: The Church is Now Open for Business

The Chief is Training