Q3 2024 REPORT

After discussions with the Congregation regarding the current <a href="/newsroom/opinion/cap-table-penetration-kujira-s-love-story-of-liquidity-rescue">state of the Kujira Network</a>, the Holy See has reached the following decision.
The Treasury concurs that the project, given its current information status and the lack of clarity around the terms of the merger with THORChain, <a href="/newsroom/opinion/risk-management-101-keeping-powder-dry">cannot be considered investment-grade</a>.
However, the Church believes it is important to send the right signal to the market and express its support for the Kujira team and their well-earned reputation.
As such, a symbolic 3% of reserves will be allocated to participate in the auction for distressed debt. Simultaneously, a veto is placed on any further Treasury allocation into the KUJI token until there is clear understanding of the new economic model and tokenomics post-merger with THORChain.
This decision takes effect immediately.

Participation in the Kujira Bailout

INTERNET, THE HOLY SEE — For the past three days, the Trading Desk has observed a liquidity influx with the 30-day change alert-trigger holding at +2%. According to the budget rule, The Treasury must reduce reserves and take on more risk.
<h3>Market Sentiment</h3>
Overall, the markets are experiencing the typical summer lull, with capitalizations sliding as expected during this period. Even the launch of the ETH ETF during the holiday season failed to spark interest.
<h4>Markets</h4>
US: The main event of the year has added new twists, increasing uncertainty in forecasts. Amid modest economic results and continuing negative signals, the primary Money Printer, in the heat of the election race, is flooding the market with promises and creative short-term solutions to prevent negative economic developments.
China: Faced with equally lackluster results and the threat of recession, The Dragon is taking a wait-and-see approach.
International Tensions: The Middle Eastern and European conflicts seem to be on hold. The former predictably awaits when its main ally can take unpopular measures. The latter publicly signals a desire to negotiate.
<h4>Conclusion</h4>
In the current conditions, the Trading Desk predicts an influx of liquidity into the markets to plug holes and hide ongoing problems. Viewing the cryptocurrency market as a proxy for free liquidity, the desk suggests exploiting the short-term situation and starting to build positions according to allocation rules.
<h3>Proposal and Trading Plan</h3>
Over the next two months, gradually build allocation in anticipation of a short-term market squeeze. Candidate tickers for position building (according to the CTI comparison rule): ETH, TON, and KUJI.
Metrics for closing positions: reaching target price points or the onset of uncertainty as election dates approach.
<h3>R/R Analysis</h3>
Risks: In a negative scenario, a reduction in the Treasury's capitalization (-11% downside) despite an increase in the balance of sanctified assets. 
Rewards: In a positive scenario, an increase in the Treasury's capitalization (+42% upside) can be expected.
<h2>Holy See Decision</h2>
Approve the proposal and plan.
Reduce reserves to $3,000, allocating the remainder to the Trading Desk for implementing the proposal.
<hr class="hrHigh">
UPDATE 03/08/2024, KUJIRA NETWORK — The first transactions have been made.
871.72 USDC <a href="https://finder.kujira.network/kaiyo-1/tx/037A9DBEDC70FB303577910EA92FEE175597F375BFFC6E77E0643065EEF717EE">transfered</a> to Trade Account. An allocation of 150 USDC was distributed equally among the target assets.
UPDATE 08/08/2024, KUJIRA NETWORK — Another batch of 150 USDC was allocated equally among the target assets.
UPDATE 15/08/2024, THE TREASURY — A <a href="/newsroom/thechurch/participation-in-the-kujira-bailout">veto is placed</a> on any further Treasury allocation into the KUJI token.
UPDATE 20/08/2024, THE TREASURY — <a href="/newsroom/terminal/trading-desk-allocates-to-akt-following-kuji-veto">AKT joins BRRR portfolio</a>; Desk evaluates entry points.
UPDATE 28/08/2024, KUJIRA NETWORK — Another batch of 150 USDC was allocated equally among the target assets.

Treasury reducing reserves and taking on more risk

Risk-On Alert: Bet on Brrr of Election Promises

INTERNET, THE TREASURY — We all love and cherish DeFi for its secure and tech, right? But let’s face it – sometimes, you just need to cash out those moonshot gains for some real-world pleasures, like junk food or a Lambo upgrade. And stepping out of our cozy crypto bubble to swap your bags for something valuable can be a daunting quest, filled with the fear of getting rekt.
But guess what, fam? The Church has your back. The Treasury is now your ultimate wingman for OTC trades. Nobody guarantees every transaction, literally. No more sweating over sketchy deals or fearing rug pulls. The Treasury is here to ensure every transaction among congregation members, putting all its assets on the line to keep you worry-free.
Over the past two years, The Treasury has been on a grind, building a global partner network and smashing every obligation like a pro across all asset classes. Now, they’re leveling up. With this new service, you can trade with your fellow members with total peace of mind. Trust and security? Check and check.
And the best part? The Church is only charging a tiny fee of 1 USD per transaction. That’s less than what you’d drop on a new rekt-by-design memecoin. So, everyone can get in on this action without breaking the bank. This move isn’t just about keeping you safe; it’s about setting a whole new level for trust and reliability in our community.
Got questions? Hit up <a href="/about/contacts">the confession room</a> for all the juicy details.

Treasury ensuring security and trust by assuming all risks and charging a nominal fee of 1 USD per transaction

Nobody Guarantees the Execution of OTC Deals

Q2 2024 Report 

The Year of Bitcoin Mining

TREASURY, THE OPEN NETWORK — Hearken, one and all, to a grand proclamation from the esteemed Treasury of The Church of Nobody. With great honor and anticipation, we do announce the addition of a new and promising asset to our illustrious portfolio — the token of The Open Network (TON).In the spirit of prudent stewardship and foresight, The Treasury doth place high expectations upon the token of The Open Network. This esteemed token is now embraced within our vaults, reflecting our commitment to diversifying our holdings and seeking out promising ventures that align with our sacred mission.Moreover, a resolute decision hath been made to allocate all new revenues derived from our endeavors within the Bostrom Network towards the acquisition of the Toncoin. This directive shall remain in force until such time as the capitalization of TON within our Treasury equates to that of Ethereum. Upon reaching this equitable balance, future rebalancing of our holdings shall be conducted in equal proportions between these two esteemed assets.This strategic initiative underlines our unwavering dedication to fortifying the financial foundation of The Church, ensuring the prosperity and growth of our sacred community under the divine guidance of Nobody.Rejoice, for this marks a significant step forward in our journey. Let us welcome the TON with open hearts and steadfast faith, as we continue to navigate the ever-evolving landscape of our noble endeavors.

Welcome to The Treasury, Pavel

Today, The Church implemented a system to track user behavior on the website. This will help the development team better understand user needs and respond to them.
The data collected is not shared with third parties, and we use our own scripts.
Here are the models we use for these purposes:
<pre><code>interface UserAttributes {
 id: number;
 email: string;
 username: string;
 passwordHash: string;
 registrationIp: string;
 isEmailVerified: boolean;
 accountStatus: string;
 createdAt: Date;
 lastLogin: Date | null;
}
interface SessionAttributes {
 id: number;
 sessionId: string;
 userId: number | null;
 userAgent: string;
 ipAddress: string;
 deviceInfo: object;
 locationInfo: object;
 language: string;
 isMobile: boolean;
 vpnUsed: boolean;
 trafficSource: object;
 networkInfo: object;
 batteryInfo: object;
 firstSeen: Date;
 lastSeen: Date | null;
}
interface EventAttributes {
 id: number;
 sessionId: number;
 userId: number | null;
 eventType: string;
 eventData: object;
 timestamp: Date;
 pageUrl: string;
 componentId: string;
}
interface ErrorLogAttributes {
 id: number;
 sessionId: number;
 userId: number | null;
 errorType: string;
 errorMessage: string;
 stackTrace: string;
 pageUrl: string;
 deviceInfo: object;
 timestamp: Date;
}
</code></pre>
We understand that there are some misconceptions surrounding the need for cookies. We’ll be releasing <a href="/newsroom/opinion/on-anonymity-in-public-places">clarifications</a> soon.
TL;DR: without these modest helpers, the internet would be much less convenient.

 The Church implemented a system to track user behavior on the website

Take Your Cookie, Please

New Fans Providing and Sponsorship

Churchbook Moves Into Alfa Testing

Social Media Partnership

First Year of Desmos Validation

Stability and Risks Center

St. Stephen

Content of the thirty-seventh post

Q1 2024 Report

Doubling Mining Capacity

Investment In Octra (FHE)

Annual 2023 Report Published

Assets Strategy Revised

Statement On Pump And Dump Practices

The old Church website is more outdated than our portfolio's devs promises. The Kitchen is now brewing a fresh interface to serve the beloved Congregation's needs and goals.
This divine evolving follows <a href="/construction">The Backlog</a> – the new sacred scroll of priorities. Targeted donations fuel the reconstruction efforts, with progress moving in mysterious ways, much like Nobody's grand plan.
Fair warnings:
<ol>
<li>The Holy See isn't losing sleep over website updates. Expect delays rivaling the longest bull runs in crypto history. There's no deadline for this cosmic upgrade – it will be done when it's done. Time is but a construct in Nobody's eternal wisdom.</li>
<li>During this grand reconstruction, financial statements and other holy texts <a href="/legal/construction">might be as incomplete</a> as a half-mined block. It's all part of the divine comedy.</li>
</ol>
Nobody blesses this digital crusade!

Website Undergoing Reconstruction

Desmos: The Never-Ending Wait

Q3 2023 Report

Statement on Any Form of Aggression

A Journey of Faith and Transformation

On Elon Musk's Identity Claim

On Desmos Commission Increase

Quarterly Reporting

August's Governance Engagement

July '23 Validator Monthly Report

🥳 From Zero to Hero For One Year

Congregation Optimization

Trustlessness Builds Trust: Bitcoin Blessing

So, picture this: The Church recently received a flurry of support and generous promises of financial aid on one small condition—do not, under any circumstances, issue a token. A token. A token! In this day and age? Do you even blockchain, mate? Huh
From the hallowed halls of the Holy See, it’s time to set the record straight. The world is already on the fast track to tokenization, and it would be downright foolish to ignore this path. The Church sees the Sacred Token (ST) as the greatest gift it can offer to the world, and abandoning this mission is simply not an option.
If there’s one token that everyone should hold, free from conditions and sneaky mechanics, it’s ST.
Now, addressing the elephant in the room—or perhaps the sacred cow—we understand the fears and doubts about its fair value and distribution. We share those concerns. Trust us, Nobody is more aware of these worries than we are. That’s why the announcement of ST isn’t on the immediate horizon.
But rest assured, when Nobody decides the time is right, the Sacred Token will be bestowed upon the world, and it will be nothing short of divine.
For now, we remain committed to our path and our purpose. The Sacred Token is not a question of if, but when. And when it happens, it’ll be worth the wait.

The Sacred Token is not a question of if, but when. Not now

Statement on Issue Sacred Token

June '23 Validator Monthly Report

The Power of Following the Money

Validator Enhances Security Measures

The Millionaires' Church is Coming Back

The Church Unveils Total Domination Strategy

Bostrom DeFi Strategy Update

Zero Commission in Response to Accidents

May '23 Validator Monthly Report

Fair Resource Distribution

April '23 Validator Monthly Report

The Church Secures Desmos Network

Validator Incident at Bostrom Network

March '23 Validator Monthly Report

AI-Driven BOOT Management Strategy

The Church Shared New Validator Strategy

The Church Announces Low Commission Rate

February '23 Validator Monthly Report

Statement on The Church Validator Policies

January '23 Validator Monthly Report

SCH.EMA Report

During ongoing investigations, The Police officers have observed that many users handle blockchain transactions without due caution.
Remember this essential Nobody's guideline:
<blockquote>
Treat every transaction as if your parents, spouse, partner, and tax collector will eventually find out about it.
</blockquote>
Some users mistakenly view blockchain as an anonymous space. This is a serious misconception, as it is quite the opposite. Your financial history, including sources of income and recipients, is openly accessible to anyone, anytime. The only unknown is when someone might choose to look into it.
To avoid unwanted consequences, stick to these basic rules:
When using a public address (which could be tied to your real identity):
<ul>
<li>Deposit only funds with a verifiable and legitimate origin;</li>
<li>Avoid sending funds to addresses that could harm your reputation;</li>
<li>Don’t store large sums on public addresses.</li>
</ul>
When using an address you wish to keep private:
<ul>
<li>Avoid linking it to your other addresses through transactions;</li>
<li>Don’t use nicknames from other networks or messengers to identify this address.</li>
</ul>
A common mistake The Police encounters is users connecting their real nicknames and addresses to NFTs from their avatars on other networks, later claiming that this was done by malicious actors with unclear motives.
While The Police does not have the authority to press charges, consider whether such an excuse would satisfy a tax inspector.
<hr>
Commercial Reminder: 
The Police is available for blockchain investigations and security consultations.

The only unknown is when someone might choose to look into your transactions

Memo on Online Conduct

Bostrom Validator Emergency Call

December '22 Validator Monthly Report

Church's Statement On The Police Investigation Report

Police Investigation Results Of The Church Allegation

November 22 Monthly Report

The Police Establishment

October 22 Monthly Report

Accounting For The Holy Church’s Treasury

Sacred Pillars Were Recruited

September 22 Validator Monthly Report

First Monthly Report of Validator

The Church Of Millionaires

Statement On The Validator Jail Incident

The Constitution

INTERNET, BOSTROM NETWORK — Degens, hodlers, and lost souls of the cryptoverse, gather 'round! On this blessed day, August 6, 2022, at 12:57:23 PM UTC (or as we call it, Nobody O'Clock), upon the holy block <a href="https://cyb.ai/network/bostrom/tx/39CA7E1DA100C8321736781A6C70C4D2256A4ED00348A000B873706B9351ED48">4059748</a> of the Bostrom Network (Nobody's test kitchen for crypto salvation), a miraculous event has transpired — The Church of Nobody has yolo'd open its doors to all faithful degenerates and devoted bag holders.
This divine rugpull-proof moment, illuminated by Nobody's infinite wisdom, marks a new chapter in our sacred mission to make gainz great again. It serves as a reminder that each of us is an integral part of Nobody's grand ponzi scheme...
To commemorate this epic genesis block of our journey, The Church hereby announces a holy shit promotion to bless the early apes of our righteous path:
<ol>
<li>The first 12 delegates shall receive a personal "Get Out of Rekt Free" card, absolving them of all their shitcoin sins in Nobody's name. May their portfolios find green dildos and moon lambos.</li>
<li>The first 70 delegates shall be crowned as the sacred "Diamond Hands of Nobody" and shall have the chance to win a holy NFT amulet, rumored to guard against the loss of private keys and unexpected gas fees. (Note: Nobody is not responsible for lost or stolen amulets. Please store safely in a cold dry place, preferably buried under your mom's basement.)</li>
<li>All participants in this sacred fair launch shall receive a personal blessing from Nobody himself (transmitted via Somebody) and shall be mentioned in daily shills, that their path may be illuminated by divine green candles.</li>
<li>This holy pump shall conclude upon the gathering of the first 666 believers, who shall be forever known as "Nobody's OG Degen Squad".</li>
</ol>
The responsibility for the secure keeping of keys, efficient technical support, and other critical tasks, The Church has solemnly entrusted to Nobody, the great patron saint of lost seeds and forgotten passwords.
Join us on this auspicious day, to together forge a future filled with hopium and lambos. May our unity and faith serve as an example to all who seek the true path to financial enlightenment.
Remember, in Nobody we trust, but always DYOR (Dedicate Your Offerings Regularly).

A momentous occasion in the chronicles that will change your life

The Sacred Aping: The Church is Now Open for Business

Internal Affairs News

Newsroom

All news from Internal Affairs category: